Things you should never do in Konoha
by Asharza
Summary: This is 30 things you should never do in Konoha! Hope you like it people! Chapter 2 is up and it is finished!
1. Chapter 1

**This is just a bunch of stuff you should not do in konoha. I might make a few more chapters. My sister helped me with some of these. You don't have to review but I would appreciate it if you did!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the character they belong to Masashi Kishimoto.**

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1. You should not tell Naruto that he is useless and weak.

Or Sasuke.

Or Sakura.** (Though that one might be true.)**

Or any of the other characters **(Though some of them wouldn't care, coughcoughshikamarucough. )**

2. You should not tell Sasuke his hair looks like a chickens hind quarters, and his expression makes him look like an idiot.

3. You should not tell Ino the nerd look is in.

4. Chouji does not approve of tofu so you should not ever switch the beef and pork for tofu at the barbecue restaurants before he arrives.

Even though this is a good healthy diet he does not appreciate the gesture.

5. You should not ask Neji what conditioner he uses on his hair.

6. When Sasuke hide's behind you from his fangirls, you should not step aside and call good luck at his running form.

7. You should not offer to by Naruto ramen if he kisses Chouji.

Because he will do it and you would go broke.

I'm not kidding you really would go broke.

8. You could but you should not send Ino or Sakura a love letter signed Sasuke.

9. You should most certainly not send Jiraiya a love letter signed Orochimaru.

10. You will not play Barbie Girl around Sakura or Ino.

11. When you see Kankouru you should not inform him that the local clown troop is hiring.

12. You most defiantly should not tell Temari she is insanely weak as that my dear would be suicidal, and is frowned upon in most countries.

13. You can not chop of Ino's hair and run for your life. If you try it you will apologize to her then you may walk politely into the room were people are laughing and laugh your butt off.

14. You will not tell Tenten they are closing all the weapon shops. Then you will also not laugh as she freaks out.

15. You will not lock Naruto, Sasuke, Rock Lee, Ino, and Kiba in a room together just to see what happens. Especially if they were all drunk.

16. You will never tell Hinata that Naruto love's Konan.

17. You will not put Kankouru, Kiba, and Shikamaru on a mission together just for kicks especially if Gai was team leader.

18. You cannot I repeat CANNOT put a Kick Me sign on Gaara's back because people who kicked him would die painfully.

19. You will not sneak up behind Shikamaru and shout, Hey Crybaby! Funny though to see him jump, or sit there and do nothing. I am not sure which.

20. Jiraiya is and always will be and old fart, Tsunade on the other hand… Just be careful all right!

21. Orochimaru is not from a galaxy far far away and you will stop insisting he is.

22. You will not sneak up on Jiraiya when he is "peeping" and say "Jirayia I am your mother, or father."

23. You will not shove a Shikatema and Shikaino fan in a room together, and then take bets on who would win.

24. You will not sing Dare to be Stupid around Naruto and give him ideas.

25. You will not throw Itachi fangirls and Sasuke fangirls in a room together and lock the doors.

26. You will not tell Ino she is ugly especially on a bad day.

27. You should not care if Naruto did kick Gaara's demons butt remember... It still only counts as one!

28. Tsunade is not a "foxy momma" and you will stop insisting she is especially in her presence.

29. You will not tell Iruka that you did not complete my homework because you couldn't find anyone to cheat off of will only make him mad, and it is not a valid excuse.

30. You will not scream CLARK WE NEED YOU! When Shino walks into a room. As he does not find it funny.

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**Tell me what you thought! I changed my mind you'd better review! Even though there is nothing I can do about it if you don't :(**


	2. Chapter 2

**This my friends is the I will not part! I hope you like.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto if I did sasuke would not exist.**

31. I will not go up and tell Paris Hilton she's gone broke** (Hold it what does Paris Hilton have to do with Naruto?!)**

32. I will not tell Chouji that the barbeque place is having an all you can eat.

Cause he might trample me in his haste to get there, or he will kill me when he finds out your lying.

33. Akamaru does not need to wear a pretty pink ribbon.

34. Orochimaru certainly does not need to wear a pretty pink ribbon.

35. Itachi MOST CERTANLY does not need to wear a pretty pink ribbon!

36. I will not replace Sasuke's shampoo and conditioner with purple hair dye.

37. Kakashi does not were a mask to hide a hideous mole.

38. I will also not recommend he go get it checked out by Tsunade.

39. Tsunade does not appreciate it when I sing Sexyback especially when I got Jiraiya to join in for the chorus.

40. Everyone calls Ino a dumb blonde, yet so is Naruto.

41. I will never take the hokages hat.

42. I will never make jokes to Sasuke bout his parents.

43. Naruto is not a foxy lady only his jutsu is.

44. I am not allowed to sing Dude looks like a lady to Sasuke or Haku.

45. I will not hand Neji a yu-gi-oh deck and ask him about the fate of the cards.

46. I will not Photoshop photos of Sasuke half-naked and give them to his gay fan base then tell them he asked for me to pass these out for them.

Telling Naruto the ramen shop is closed is only funny the first time and then after that it's just painful.

I will not go up to Shino and ask, "Will you help me bug bomb my house?"

I will not recommend energy drinks to Shikamaru, or Caffeine.

Hello, Sasuke is not Inigo Montoya; However Itachi killed his father so prepare to die.

Sakura does not need to go with Sasuke if she want's to live.

Orochimaru is not a decepticon, or work for them a will stop inciting that he is.

Shino is not "Neo" from the matrix and I will stop insisting how scary the resemblance is.

Rock Lee does need an eyebrow wax, but that does not mean I can tie him to a chair with the wax and clippers.

Sasuke he not a gay vampire that sparkles.

Tsunade is a compulsive gambler, and I will never intruduce her to Las Vegas.

I will not replace Kakashi's make out paradise books with Twilight. As that is a cruel and unusual punishment for the poor man.

I will not ask Kisame what kind of dolphin, he is he will not appreciate it.

I will not teach Konahamaru "The song the never ends" no matter how amusing it will be when he is still singing it ten years from now.

60. I will not call Chouji…………………………………………. FATTY!!!!!

**I Hope you liked it review!**


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